Don't want to forget this moment

DISCLAIMER: This once non-active blog has instantly turned into a pregnancy journal with the quick pee of a stick. Before I'm ready to tell the world, but before I forget, I want to document how I feel at this very moment.


I took the test one hour ago. Hoping for the best but talking myself into the worst (to keep disappointment to a minimum), I left the test on the bathroom counter and went to pour myself a cup of coffee. The allotted three minutes hadn't passed yet but who could resist looking? And there it was: PREGNANT. I had to look at the test from different angles looking for the "not" in front. Holy cow! I stared at myself in the mirror grinning, thinking, is this for real? Pacing to the bedroom to tell, the dogs? I didn't know what to do with myself. I had to share this news. Ryan was already at work, and this kind of news to my future baby daddy is not meant to be shared through a phone call.My plan on how to "break the news" to Ryan has been decided months ago, I'll post about that later. So I called the only other person that knew we were going through this process. Tita Jessie : ) All I had to say was "I have to tell you something" loud shrieks and jumping (yes, I could hear her jumping through the phone) followed immeadiately after.


So here I am now, in disbelief really. So many things going through my mind. I find myself thinking of my mom. What she would say if she were here. How this process would be different if she were here. I feel comfort knowing she knows. That she's there to protect and guide me through this next journey. And even though I would so much rather have her here with me, I feel lucky knowing I have her watching me.